When we are talking to other people, we usually ask a few questions, and then we listen to the answers. The key issue is, when we listen, do we already have a predetermined hypothesis as to what the answer will be? As a result, have we prematurely tuned out of the listening process?
One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned while coaching my clients is that when I ask questions, I consciously clear my mind of any expectation about what their answers might be. I have learned that by keeping my ears open, I hear answers that I would not have imagined on my own. If I had predicted the answers, I would have clouded my understanding of the situation. As a result, clients express themselves more freely and effectively. This type of communication helps us connect on a deeper level and allows me to ask them additional empowering questions based on their answers.
The same is true in all of our day to day conversations, professionally and personally. Whether we are chatting with a new co-worker or a long term friend, when we give the gift of that open space for listening to whatever the answer may be, we in turn give ourselves the gift of learning more than we ever could have if we had allowed our own expectations and forecasts to cloud the process.
The next time you start up a conversation, I want you to try consciously injecting this method into your discussions. I bet you’ll be surprised! You are likely to find that conversations are richer, and more engaging. Begin learning and mastering this technique today, and watch your communication skills deepen and expand in a satisfying way.
Contact me for one to one coaching to expand upon this and other communication skills at deanstorercoaching.youcanbook.me or check out my book, Communication: Discover Your True Wealth, available on Amazon